Things I need to buy

I need this more than Oscar Pistorius needs the name of a good bathroom decorator.

This is actually what the AMERICUN agents used to melt the brains of "those brown folk" when they were searching for Bin laden so they could bring him to justice shoot him loads of times for shits & giggles. True story bro, don't believe a word of Zero Dark Thirty. It didn't even win the Oscar for Best Picture and we all know that is the true measure of how great a movie is. On a completely unrelated note, here are some films that also didn't win Best Picture:-

Pulp Fiction
Goodfellas
Apocalypse Now
Shawshank Redemption
Taxi Driver
Saving Private Ryan
Beverly Hills Cop 2


Getthefuckouttahere, indeed.

The Name of The (Stone) Rose

This is why material possessions are cool.

Fair Game

Today I ventured to the most glorious of places - The Record Fair, held at the rather historical Mitchell Library in Glasgow's mean streets. I would liked to have provided a photographic cavalcade for you to feast your eyes on but unfortunately after I took one photo, I realised that something strange was afoot. Now, I appreciate that a lot of the people who go to these sort of events are a bit, shall we say, eccentric, but I was not expecting this.

As you can clearly see, shape shifting lizards (Alright David Icke, calm down - Ed) were on the prowl, possibly trying to find a copy of a rare Alien Sex Fiend LP. Startled, I got on with my browsing POST HASTE and got the hell out of town with a hefty selection of Vinyl goodness. Obviously I would stayed & kicked some arse but I still had plenty of bubble gum left.

I can assure you that this is not an elaborate and/or unnecessary story to cover the fact that I forgot to take any photos. Most definitely not.

Anyway, here are today's purchases.

I was particularly pleased to get a mint condition copy of This is our Art by those fine Bellshill indie popsters, The Soup Dragons for the princely sum of £1.25. I'm a shrewd devil.

Booty Search

There have been many great discoveries over the years - The Wheel, Electricity, Penicillin and of course, Cheese & Jam sandwiches. Today, I discovered a little treasure trove of vinyl goodness, tucked down a lane in the great city of Glasgow -  Mixed Up Records .

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mixed-Up-Records/16530198388

As soon as I saw it, I knew it would deliver the goods. And deliver it so very did.

That my friends, is what you call a haul. Or perhaps loot if you are that way inclined.

Tomorrow I shall go in search of even bigger booty (that's pirate swag not a black womens behind, although that would be nice too) as I venture to a Record Fair at the Mitchell Library in Glasgow. I shall report with my findings. Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.

Old = Worthless

As a regular Arthur Daley, I will often be found wheelin' & dealin' on eBay. eBay is of course open to the general public and as we all know, the general public are mental. Recently I was contacted by eBay user "Terry-Bhoy5" who wished to make me an offer for a rather nice LP which generally sells for £20-£25. His communication was as follows:-

"awright mate, Ill give you £3 for dis album, it;s old so thatts all it's wurth. lemme knoe. Tel."

Apparently something that is old, is of no value. An interesting hypothesis I'm sure you'll agree. I will have to get in touch with the good people at The Lourve and see if I can pick up a few of Vinnie Van Gogh's works in exchange for a couple of empty ginger bottles.

Now, perhaps I am being harsh on "Terry-Bhoy5". Not one who wishes to be thought of as an unreasonable man, I phoned my good friend, Mr Stephen Hawking, and sought his opinion.

'Ahoy, hoy'

'Stephen! You mad robotic swine, how the hell are you?'

'Stoo! I am very well thank you, just relaxing whilst listening to some Kraftwerk'

'Course you are. Just a quick call to seek your opinion Steve-O, I'm dealing with a young chap who is of the opinion that things that are old, are of no real value. What is your opinion on this?'

'Tell him Yo mama'

'Tell him Yo mama?'

'Yes, tell him Yo mama so old she has an autographed bible & that's worth a few quid'

'Very droll, Steve. Nice talking to you as always'

'Been a pleasure Stoo. Oh, would you be interested in buying a mint condition copy of Stars by Simply Red?'

'F**k off Hawking'





Terry-Bhoy5? OFFER DECLINED.

Just like buses....

After acquiring The Beatles "Red" Album 62-66 a few nights ago, today I have done the double and won me a bit of Blue.

Can't wait to listen to Octopus's Garden over & over & over again. Good times.

Won't pish on your lap.

There are many things in this world that people deem to be precious - Diamonds, Memories, Religion (lol) & of course children. My Facebook timeline is certainly a testament to the latter - oh look, little Johnny Knoberson is standing upright, now he's sitting down, now he's sleeping & now a little bit of me JUST DIED INSIDE. Anyway, I digress. Here is something that I find precious, a little gem from my own personal collection that I guarantee won't pish on your lap.

The Very Best of The Stone Roses. Released at a time before vinyl had become popular again, but I was there, buying it - I've always been cool. Just look at it in all it's splendour. From what I understand it's also very rare, I can't find any copies on Amazon marketplace or eBay and never have seen one. I have no idea how much it's worth, it's very possible that it's more valuable than Burkina Faso*. 



*Cat burglars, please don't rob me. 

Wordplay. Yeah.

I have been outbid 3 times in the past 24 hours at the last second whilst trying to get a copy of Joy Division - Closer. It's very frustrating that I am no "closer" to getting a copy.

See what I did there?

I'll get my coat...

Can't Buy Me Love...

Managed to win this fine collection on eBay for the tidy sum of 4 GREAT BRITISH POUNDS.

I love The Beatles, I remember when I was BUT A LAD, I used to watch The Yellow Submarine and wonder why the narrator from Thomas the Tank Engine was getting involved with all these Blue Meanies, and who was looking after Thomas & Percy? But then they were all like ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE and I was like, OK DOKEY. Since then I've always wanted to be a Beatle, well not Paul, he's a fud.

The Beginning

Hello & welcome to my world. Just to set a few ground rules in this glorious place - the vinyl record is King, the CD is tolerated like an adopted child & the MP3 is as welcome as Gary Glitter at a school sports day. However if you have a copy of the Silver Star LP, I'll take it off your hands.

I'll be posting pictures of my latest finds, ranting about fascists who outbid me on eBay and generally being a damn fine vinyl record collecting sonofagun. Natch.