Old = Worthless

As a regular Arthur Daley, I will often be found wheelin' & dealin' on eBay. eBay is of course open to the general public and as we all know, the general public are mental. Recently I was contacted by eBay user "Terry-Bhoy5" who wished to make me an offer for a rather nice LP which generally sells for £20-£25. His communication was as follows:-

"awright mate, Ill give you £3 for dis album, it;s old so thatts all it's wurth. lemme knoe. Tel."

Apparently something that is old, is of no value. An interesting hypothesis I'm sure you'll agree. I will have to get in touch with the good people at The Lourve and see if I can pick up a few of Vinnie Van Gogh's works in exchange for a couple of empty ginger bottles.

Now, perhaps I am being harsh on "Terry-Bhoy5". Not one who wishes to be thought of as an unreasonable man, I phoned my good friend, Mr Stephen Hawking, and sought his opinion.

'Ahoy, hoy'

'Stephen! You mad robotic swine, how the hell are you?'

'Stoo! I am very well thank you, just relaxing whilst listening to some Kraftwerk'

'Course you are. Just a quick call to seek your opinion Steve-O, I'm dealing with a young chap who is of the opinion that things that are old, are of no real value. What is your opinion on this?'

'Tell him Yo mama'

'Tell him Yo mama?'

'Yes, tell him Yo mama so old she has an autographed bible & that's worth a few quid'

'Very droll, Steve. Nice talking to you as always'

'Been a pleasure Stoo. Oh, would you be interested in buying a mint condition copy of Stars by Simply Red?'

'F**k off Hawking'





Terry-Bhoy5? OFFER DECLINED.